Well, at least he was honest...

Report: Man declares he's on crack, punches stepdad

Jeremy Brooks Dolan


MARY ESTHER - A local man faces a felony battery charge after he allegedly punched his stepfather and pushed him to the ground.

On Oct. 20 the Okaloosa County Sheriff's Office investigated a battery complaint at a Cascabellas residence that occurred between a man and his stepfather.

The victim and several witnesses told a deputy the stepson began "ranting and yelling about different things," according to the arrest report. Then, he told his stepfather he was on crack and began punching him and pushed him. The stepfather fell to the ground.

The stepfather was bruised and bleeding.

Witnesses said the man, 32-year-old Jeremy Brooks Dolan of Mary Esther, acted like "he was on something," the deputy wrote.

Dolan had received stitches on the back of his hand several days before. At the time of his arrest he was bleeding from the stitched area.

He was charged with battery with one prior conviction or subsequent offense. His court date is Dec. 4.

'murica

"Starting just after midnight on Oct. 29, the fellow called 9-1-1 and claimed he was having a dispute with his landlord and wanted to know what his rights were as a tenant. When deputies didn't arrive at his residence in the time he thought was appropriate, he called back and cussed out the dispatcher. Then he hung up.

A deputy went to his residence and discovered he was "highly intoxicated," the deputy wrote in the arrest report. His speech was slurred and he smelled strongly of alcohol. The deputy explained the Sheriff's Office lacked jurisdiction in a landlord-tenant dispute and he should stop abusing the 9-1-1 system, as it's for emergencies only.

The man defied this order and called 9-1-1 again, refusing to cooperate with the dispatcher but letting it be known he was recording the call. The deputy went back to his place and warned him again not to call 9-1-1. He provided the man with the office's non-emergency number.

At around 3:30 a.m. the man called 9-1-1 again and asked to speak to a lieutentant or sergeant about a domestic incident. When asked where he was, the man said he was in "Destin," then "America." When asked where he was in Destin, the man replied, "I said America not Destin."

For a third time the deputy went to his residence. He determined there was no domestic disturbance emergency and placed the man under arrest. He had to be dragged to the deputy's cruiser."

Well at least he can't be charged with providing false information to the police, the man was indeed in America.

Sources:
1. http://www.nwfdailynews.com/local-news/crime/police-blotters/man-says-he-s-in-america-not-destin-1.40713
2. http://www.funnyjunk.com/funny_pictures/3843461/Makes+Me+Proud/