Only in Florida 7/29/2013

     Airports have become some of the most secure places on the planet. If you ever want or need to be placed in police custody quickly, try acting weird or carrying around a suspicious looking package at an airport. With this being the case, it is no wonder that officials at the Opa-locka Executive Airport were concerned when they were informed that an anonymous tip indicated that there was a radioactive 55 gallon drum in one of their maintenance areas.

     After verifying that the tip was true, Police and firefighters sealed off the area and shut down the airport as radiation meters at first indicated that the uranium could be leaking. The drum, which was filled with radioactive and nonradioactive airplane parts, was near a plane that was being disassembled.

     The airport, which did not have the resources to handle such a situation, had to call in the hazardous-response team from Miami International Airport for assistance. After a few hours, the area was declared safe, but neither the fire department, nor the hazmat crew had the resources to dispose of the radioactive material. With no where else to turn, officials called the EPA, and left the clean up and disposal of the materials to the local Department of Environmental Protection. They in turn had to start searching for a contractor who could safely remove and dispose of the material.

     While no one was injured and the site is being cleaned, the question still remains, where did the uranium come from? As it turns out, many older model planes used it to balance the plane while it was flying, as well as for some navigational purposes. Someone took these parts off an older model plane, and then, apparently because the cost to properly dispose of it would have been too high, mixed them in with some other parts. From the article, it appeared that no one wanted to take the blame for what happened, with each person passing the blame down the line. While we may never know exactly who did it, at least the mess is being properly disposed of.


Other news in brief:

Police: Man chokes teen over middle finger - If you flick someone off and they start to follow you, for the love of all that is holy, don't stop!

Man tells lawmen his drinking buddy punched him, breaking his hearing aid - That will show him.

Woman arrested for DUI after police find her asleep behind the wheel in Abacoa - She had her child, her cat, and a partridge in a pear tree in the car with her.

Only in Florida 7/25/2013

      The old phrase, "throw the baby out with the bath water" is obviously meant to be taken figuratively. No one would want to throw their child, right? While most people would see this as common sense, one parent apparently missed the memo.
   
     Ashley Taylor Wright, 23, of Pensacola, was enjoying a day of shopping at the Santa Rosa Mall with her husband and two children. While they were in Dillard's, Wright decided to try and get a bit more for her money and placed two pairs of jeans and a shirt, worth more than 260 dollars, in her baby's stroller.

     The pilfering parent made it all the way to her car before she was stopped by an Okaloosa County sheriff's deputy. As he approached, Wright yelled at her husband to leave, and the officer attempted to get her to exit the vehicle. In response, she grabbed her child's carrier, with the baby inside, and told the deputy, "You will have to shoot through the baby to get me.”

     With no other solution presenting itself, Wright decided that the only way out was to make a run for it. As she did, apparently seeking a distraction, she threw her 14 pound infant at the deputy. Fortunately the child was unharmed. Wright, however, was not so lucky. As she ran from the deputy, she stumbled and fell, which gave him the chance to catch up. In a last ditch effort to escape, Wright tried to fight with the deputy on the ground. However, she lost the battle and was taken into custody. After her capture, the deputy noticed that Wright had suffered a cut on her head which required treatment at a local hospital.

     After being released from the hospital, Wright was charged with petty theft, child abuse without great bodily harm, resisting an officer without violence, and placed on $7,000 bond.


Other news in brief:

Police: Shoplifter's fight over 99-cent chips gets him robbery charge - Mother knows best

Mom angry daughter didn’t want to be baptized with her - Mother: You will get dunked, and you will like it!

Police say barefoot UPS employee tried to hide stolen cellphones in boots - Maybe he wanted to be called the barefoot bandit?

Flagler woman accused of battering boyfriend - She may be small, but she is fierce.

Police: Man shoves woman out of moving minivan after argument over beer on his way to rehab - They tried to make him go to rehab, but he said, "no, no, no".

Only in Florida 7/23/2013

     There are very few places in the United States that allow public nudity. Mostly, these places are either secluded beaches, campgrounds, or resorts. Outside of those areas, people tend to keep their clothes on, unless they are in New Orleans for Mardi Gras and are very intoxicated. Because of this, when an unidentified man decided to take a naked jaunt down the median of the Caloosahatchee Bridge near Fort Myers, he attracted no small amount of attention.

      Early in the morning of July 16th, the Lee County Sheriff's Office started receiving reports of a naked man walking southbound on the Caloosahatchee Bridge. Witnesses on the scene described the man as, "not wearing clothes and waving his hands with raised arms as he walked." When the deputies arrived, wrapped him  apprehended him, the man, with apparently nothing to hide, told the deputies that he had parked his car near the foot of the bridge, and it was rigged with explosives.

     Generally, law enforcement officers tend to not take bomb threats lightly, even if they are given by a naked, arm waving man. To keep everyone safe, the deputies closed off the bridge and called in the bomb squad to disarm the man's car. Using their specialized robots, the bomb techs carefully searched the car from a distance, eventually clearing the car to be approached. The car did have some suspicious items in it, but there was no bomb and the bridge was reopened later in the day.

     Normally, the man who made the threat would be charged and placed in jail. However, in this case, the man was Baker Acted, and was taken to a local mental health facility for evaluation. Most native Floridians know what the Baker Act is, but to those unaware, the Baker Act is a law in Florida where a person can be involuntarily detained for a psychological evaluation if they clearly have a mental illness, or they are a harm to themselves, a harm to others, or they are self neglectful. The act was named for a Florida state representative, Maxine Baker, who was deeply interested in mental health issues.


Other news in brief:

Angry homeowner threatens tree-trimming crew with shotgun - You can take my tree limbs from my cold, dead hands!

Man just out of prison for 1995 murder accused of beating woman to point of unconsciousness in West Palm Beach - Some people just don't learn their lesson.

Police: DeLand man sits on baby's head because child would not fall asleep - ....seriously, WTF. Father of the year material right here.

Man arrested for performing dentistry at his Boca home without license, deputies say - Nothing says professionalism like a laundry room dentists office.

Only in Florida 7/22/2013

     Everyone dreams about doing something out of the ordinary, and Jenna Conti is no exception. The dreams most people have are pretty down to earth, such as getting a novel published, landing a great job, or buying the home they have always wanted. Conti's dream, on the other hand, is a bit out of the ordinary; she wants to be a mermaid. Not a real mermaid mind you, but one of the ladies who put on the mermaid show at the Florida Aquarium. To help her accomplish her goal, Conti purchased a custom made silicon mermaid tail to wear her communities public pool. However, Conti's plan has run into a bit of a snag.

     At first, the staff who ran the pool allowed her to swim with her custom tail. But when she returned for a second dip in the pool, she was told that, because of a rule barring swim fins, she would not be allowed to swim with her tail on. Hoping to be allowed as an exception to the rule, Conti brought forward a request to her home owners association's board, the FishHawk Community Development board. Unfortunately for her, the board voted to maintain the ban on swim fins, and by doing so, banning Conti from the pool while she has on her tail.

     Undeterred, Conti is still mulling over her options. One possible solution would be for her to become a licensed vendor with insurance, selling her time as an attraction at pool parties for children. However, Conti doesn't like the idea of charging fees, especially if the venue would be at the public pool. "To just swim with the kids, it's supposed to be for everybody," she said.


Other news in brief:

Video shows shirtless driver challenging other driver to fight - If you are going to fight someone, make sure they don't have someone with a camera near them.

Witness says man broke broomstick over girlfriend, threw bricks at her - while you have to feel bad for the poor lady who was beaten up, you also have to feel for the neighbor. All he probably wanted was a nice relaxing dip in the pool, not front row tickets to domestic violence theater.

Strip-club mom arrested on child-neglect charges - Since they knew she had 900 dollars on her, I wonder if they deliberately set her bail at 1000 dollars just to force her to stay in jail.

Police: UF linebacker Morrison arrested for barking at K-9 - This is on the edge of "Man bites dog" territory

Naked woman arrested after stepping off Lynx bus - I know it's been hot recently, but surely she could have kept something on.

Woman says boyfriend cut off her clothes with box-cutter - Nothing says I don't like your clothes like forcefully cutting them off you.

Only in Florida 7/18/2013

      If you are pulled over by a police officer, never tell them, "I'm awesome" or ask them to dance.

     Early in the morning of June 22, two deputies from the Indian River County Sheriff's office were responding to a burglary call when they were almost forced off the road by a Mercury Grand Marquis making wide turns and driving erratically. The deputies pulled the car over, and the driver, 44 year old Julie Kay Harper, appeared to be intoxicated. As she responded to officers, her speech seemed slurred, her eyes appeared to be bloodshot and she smelled of alcohol. While those three signs are by themselves pretty good indicators of someone being drunk, the deputies needed to be sure. However, any doubt the deputies had about Harper's insobriety soon vanished after they started to talk her.

     As the officers approached Harper, she was asked show she was doing. Her response was simply, 'I'm awesome." When asked her address, all Harper would say was "53", and that she had only lived there, "A minute"

     One of the officers asked, "For 60 seconds, that's all?"

     "That's it," Harper replied laughingly. According to the arrest report, she then said, "Yeah I know I'm fu--ed." Officers then attempted to give Harper a field sobriety test, but when they flashed a light into her eyes she jokingly asked the officer, "Are we gonna dance?"

Harper was asked if she would walk a straight line, but she gave up after just one attempt. "I can't. My fat. My legs are fat," she said. Harper later added "It's not gonna happen. Just fu--ing take me to jail."

The officers granted her request, and Harper was charged with a DUI, driving an unregistered car and driving with a suspended license.


Other news in brief:

Neighbor: Man begged forgiveness when caught having sex with pool raft - I wonder if Oops I did it again is his favorite song

Deputy sheriff applicant arrested for lewd and lascivious - He wanted experience with the justice system. Be careful what you wish for.

Pinellas Park wife, Sharon Tillman, arrested for letting disabled husband rot in bed - Love hurts I guess?

Only in Florida 7/17/2013

     Facebook has become one of the major ways that people communicate these days. Because so many people go to the social media website, some police departments have started posting information about criminals that they are searching for, hoping to obtain information that will lead to their capture. However, doing so has lead to some unintended interactions between the fugitives and the police searching for them. Few of these fugitive's seem to have learned the truth behind the old adage, "silence is golden"

     Matthew Oliver, 23, was the Pasco county sheriff's "Fugitive of the Day" on Wednesday, July 10th. Oliver, after seeing his picture on the site, began angrily commenting on it. "You guys are going to pay for A. Believing a crack head. and B. Slandering my name," Oliver wrote. "I already heard about this whole thing and I was in the hospital the day of." A few minutes after the above post Oliver stated that, "I get out of the hospital for 2 months and I have to come back to this sh**. I swear on everything I own Pasco County WILL be held responsible for this."

     Oliver apparently thought that if he threatened or yelled enough, that would scare the officer's off his trail. Over the course of the next two days, Oliver left more comments on the post. The sheriff's office, however, was undeterred by Oliver's numerous attempts to dissuade their pursuit. No matter the motivations behind his posts, all Oliver was really doing was blazing a trail for the police to follow right to him. Several of Oliver's Facebook friends saw the commotion he was raising, and messaged the sheriff's office with tips to where he was located. Oliver was arrested at a relative's house Friday afternoon.

     Let this be a lesson to any criminals out there. First of all, don't commit the crime in the first place, it's not worth it no matter how much it seems like it is. Secondly, if you did do the crime and are now in hiding, don't post of Facebook, unless you really want to get caught. Lastly, if you ignored the first two, for the love of all this is holy don't threaten the police. It will only make things worse for you and you'll be a laughing stock for the news.


Other news in brief:

Woman's pet snake gets stuck in car tail light - One question: Why do you let a Boa Constrictor loose in your car in the first place?

Woman accused of drunk dialing 911 twenty times - Instead of the freedom she wanted, all this lady got was some time in jail.

Police: Man attacked teen and pregnant woman with shovel over $25 - All he needs to do is refine his tactics a bit and this man could work for a credit card company.

Police: Arrested man called 911, asked for a new officer - "No, no, this officer is being way too mean."

Man confuses addresses and chokes the wrong person - Protip: Always double check the address when you are going to commit physical violence

Only in Florida 7/16/2013

     America is a fast food nation. Even if you go to the absolute middle of nowhere, you are only 115 miles away from a McDonald's. While having a relatively cheap and abundant place to eat has both it pluses and minuses, one of those definitely in the minus column is that you are not guaranteed that the food will be great every time.Fast food has that name for a reason, and sometimes quality is forced to the wayside for quantity. When this happens, there is little that can be done, especially if you have left the restaurant. One of the things you can't do, however, is to stage a one person sit-in in the drive through demanding free food to make up for it.

     Thirty-four year old Kimberly Womack learned this lesson the hard way last week after she had a few too many and drove up to the drive thorough of a New Port Richey, Florida McDonald's at 6 o'clock in the morning. When she arrived, Womack demanded two free BigMacs, because she was unsatisfied with the ones she got when she was there previously. When the employees told her that they couldn't do that because they were only serving breakfast, Womack demanded that they give her two free Egg McMuffins instead.

     Told to leave, Womack decided to stand, or rather sit, her ground. Police arrived, and Womack told the officers that her rights were being violated because the restaurant wouldn't give her a free breakfast. While the officers were talking to her, she allegedly told them she thought it was only 4 A.M. and she had taken a Klonopin. The officers could smell alcohol on her, and when she failed a field sobriety test, Womack was arrested for DUI. She had a BAC of .108. No word was given on when she finally got something to eat.


Other news in brief:

We have a trio of bad parent stories:

Former Florida Gators linebacker Monty Grow arrested for leaving 3-year-old in car while at strip club

South Florida Sisters Gambled in Casino While Kids Sat in Running Car: Authorities

Florida Woman Leaves Kids In Car While She Attended Lil Wayne Concert

This is wrong on so many levels. Several children die every year here in Florida because they are left in cars in the summer heat. According to Florida law, you can leave children under six unattended in car for up to 15 minutes. However, you should never do this if it would place the child in danger or at risk, such as in full sun in the middle of summer with the windows rolled up. Leaving them in the car to run into a convenience store for a minute is ok, but depending on the weather, you better be quick about it. Also, if your child accidentally gets locked in the car, call the nearest police department. They will come, free of charge, and unlock the door for you.

Anyway, on a more humorous note:

Report: Woman being released pokes cop in eye - So close, yet so far

Lady Lake police: Couple steals steaks, speeds off in dirty golf cart - I have heard of lots of different getaway vehicles, but this is the first time I've ever heard of a dirty golf cart being used.

Only in Florida 7/15/2013

     Robert Vernon learned the hard way that one likes a braggart, especially a braggart who doesn't like to share. Vernon, a homeless man that goes by the street name of "Dingo", made two discoveries that wound up costing him his freedom. The first was that he could enter the Daytona Cubs ball park when it was closed by sliding through a spot between a gate and a wall. The second discovery was that even though the park might be shut down, not all of the beer taps were.

     Vernon was able to make three beer runs before he was caught, but know one knows exactly how much beer he got away with. On his earlier runs, he made the mistake of not sharing his bounty with the other homeless in the area. Angry that Vernon wouldn't share, some of the other homeless people in the area reported him to policewoman Sarah Martin to get back at him. Vernon managed to elude officer Martin until one of the parks employees spotted him early one Sunday morning.

     Alerted to his presence by the employees, Martin followed Vernon to a local park where she found him sitting at a table under a pavilion with the jug of beer beside him. “The day I arrested him he was sitting by the river drinking beer from a milk jug,” Martin said. While he may have not been smart enough not steal the beer, Vernon was at least smart enough to know when he was caught. “He confessed to me,” Martin said. “He said he had been there three times.” When asked what brand he was drinking, Vernon replied, “Whichever tap I could find open and on.”

     Vernon was unable to enjoy the last of his ill gotten gains, as officer Martin seized the jug of beer as evidence and arrested him. Vernon was charged with unarmed burglary and petty theft.


Other news in brief:

Ferna Quesner accused of cutting her mother's eyes out, Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office says - .... ok, this one is just messed up. Not sure you can get much more WTF than this.

Deputies: Couple charged after toddler left home alone - Sometimes, you just need to make a Wal-Mart run. Besides, that motorcycle didn't have a car seat. (facepalm)

Deputies Arrest 'Joker,' Accuse Him of Vandalizing Patrol Car, Another Residence - No mention of the arresting officer's last name, but I really hope it was Wayne.

Only in Florida 7/12/2013

     They old saying is that fortune favors the bold. While that may be true in some cases, I don't think fortune is going to favor you when you try and steal a 9 foot 600 pound purple aluminum chicken statue from a man's roadside stand. At 6 A.M. on the morning of July 2, three young men backed up their truck to the chicken, latched  on to it, and started to pull it down the road.

     Since it is almost impossible to pull off something like this quietly, the owner heard the commotion as they drove of with his chicken behind them. He ran outside, only to see one of the young men riding the chicken as it was being dragged down the road. Fortunately for the statue's owner, the thieves didn't make it very far, as the young men unhooked and abandoned the statue after only dragging it a mile. Unfortunately, however, the statue did not escape unscathed. It did suffer some major damage, especially to the side of it that was dragged on the ground.

     It took the police only a day to track down the purloiners of the purple poultry. Darrin Luke Edwards, 19, was charged with grand theft and violation of probation. Tyler Lee Jones, 21, and James Joseph Smith, 18, were charged with grand theft. Hopefully these men will think twice about something like this after they serve their time in the coop.

Other news in brief:

Police: Woman lights boyfriend's clothing ablaze - If you have a fight with your significant other, make sure there are no matches near your clothes

Male flirt poses as woman on chat site to entice and rob men, police say - when dealing with others online remember, trust but verify.

Claws come out over wine-pouring - When try to have an intervention, make sure you have backup.

Only in Florida 7/10/2013

     If you are reading this from Florida, you may be breaking the law. Recently the governor of Florida signed a bill into law aimed at shutting down so called internet cafes. The term internet cafe here is a bit of a misnomer, and a a better description of what they really were is a small time casino. The proponents of the new law hoped it would make these gaming machines illegal, which it does do. However, due to the way these machines are defined in the law, lawmakers may have inadvertently banned anything capable of accessing the internet.

     The bill basically defines "any machine or device by which someone can play a game of chance" as a slot machine. While online gambling has been banned in the US for quite some time, those who are determined enough can find offshore sites that they can connect to over the net from the comfort of their own homes. And since you can do this on your home PC, possibly even on your smart phone, your computer or phone could technically be called a slot machine, which would make it illegal in the state of Florida.

     While the bill was signed into law, this doesn't mean the matter is settled. A company that owned several of these establishments is fighting back and has filed suit hoping in the very least to get some clarification on the law. Hopefully some clarification will be provided, but with this being Florida, who knows when or if that will happen. Plus even if the definition is changed, chances are your TV remote could be the next thing they accidentally outlaw.

Other news in brief:

 Cops: Gun-toting HOA officer threatened residents watching fireworks - Well, it looks like they took away Barney's guns

Man uses homosexual, racial epithets against cops - Come on, tell us how you really feel

Only in Florida 7/8/2013

    This one lands clearly in the WTF column. 39 year old Kimberly Clark Kiernan took things a bit too far when she hosted a party for her 16 year old son. Kiernan's party raised such a ruckus, that neighbors, fearing for the safety of her seven year old son, called the police. When the officers arrived, Kiernan, who was so intoxicated that she couldn't stand on her own, first told the police that her younger son wasn't at home.
     When the officers wanted to come in and verify her claim, Kiernan backed into her hall, shut the door on the officers, and proceeded to barricade the door. The officers called for backup from Riviera Beach Police Department, which sent eight officers over to help. Eventually, the officers broke their way into the apartment, and located the younger son locked in a room by himself. The boy told officers, "Mommy locked me in the bathroom".
     When the officers managed to round everyone up, a total of 26 teenagers, most 14 to 15 years old, were removed from the apartment. Searching the apartment, the officers found two 50 gallon trash bags filled with alcohol and empty bottles. In the bathroom, they saved a 16 year old girl that was passed out, and choking on her own vomit. Kiernan was eventually located under a huge mound of clothes in her bedroom. Kiernan was charged with 26 counts of contributing to the delinquency of a minor, child abuse and giving false information to a police officer.
   

Other news in brief:

Florida misspelled twice on interstate sign - What amazes me is that the sign was made, transported to the site and installed before anyone noticed.

Yikes! Gator attacked woman's kayak - Gators 1, kayaks 0

Deputies: Deltona man bites grandma in argument over wine - I understand being mad enough to hit someone, but being mad enough to bite...yikes.

Only in Florida 7/3/2013

     Our first story today comes from Gainesville where 33 year old Birnard Larkin Jr.was arrested for trying

to murder his cousin. What drove Larkin into a homicidal rage? He was not invited to a birthday party at his aunt's house for some one and two year old children in the neighborhood. The reason he was snubbed? His aunt knew that there was already a warrant out for his arrest, and she didn't want to risk having the police show up in the middle of the party.
     While this sounds reasonable enough, Larkin was incensed. Upon hearing this, he proceeded to curse profusely and threaten the life of his aunt's son. Also, he asked to have some of the food from the party brought to him. Clearly, Larkin is a master of persuasion, as after his curses and threats, his aunt allowed her son to take him a plate of food.
     As the man arrived at Larkin's house, food in hand, Larkin pushed him off his bike, cursed at him and fired two shots, which fortunately missed, at his head. The cousin fled, but apparently not far enough, as Larkin caught up to him, shooting, and missing, him twice more.
     Eventually, the police caught up to him, and he was booked and charged with attempted first-degree murder and possession of a firearm by a convicted felon. Oh, and that warrant that had been out for his arrest? It was for domestic battery on a pregnant woman for attacking his sister who was six months pregnant. Now who wouldn't want this guy at a birthday party for kids.

Other news in brief:

Ybor City post office reopens after suspicious package found to contain eucalyptus oil - At least they discovered what it was instead of just blowing it up, which seems to be normal procedure these days.

Infuriated man kicks out patrol car window after arrest, deputies say - This man never skipped leg day at the gym.

GPD: Man kidnaps woman, threatens woman and child over debt - Why pay debt collectors when you can do it yourself.

2 women arrested after getting drunk in Wal-Mart - Ain't no party like a Wal-Mart pary.

Kangaroo leads Florida deputies on 10-hour chase - First pythons, now kangroos, what's next?

Teen hit by celebratory gunfire in Florida after NBA Finals - I'm so happy, I just have to shoot the sky!

Only in Florida 7/2/2013

Due to there being so much weird, wacky and WTF news from Florida, I've decided to make a change to how the blog is done. Instead of making a post for every story I find, I've decided that a more concise approach would be best. Going forward, I will have a single post recapping all the wackiness that is Florida. Now, back to your regularly scheduled blog post.

     Our first story comes from West Palm Beach where Roosevelt Mondesir, 53, was convicted of trying to

heat up his relationship with his girlfriend. Now, normally this trying to rekindle that old spark isn't a criminal offence, however when you try to use gasoline to do it, that is where the law draws a strict line in the sand. The icing on the cake of this story is defense attorney Thomas Weiss remark, “It’s the proverbial schoolboy getting the girl’s attention by pulling her pigtails. Very obviously we’re far from schoolyards and pig tails here, but it’s the same principal of trying to get that attention by any means,”. Fortunately, his girlfriend survived the horrific, attention seeking , encounter and is on the road to recovery.

     Our next story comes from Plantation Key, where Cole Alan Peacock tried to resist arrest on charges of

Fraud and Grand Theft. When police arrived to arrest him, Peacock decided that he wouldn't go down without a fight and pulled what turned out to be an EpiPen, a medical device used to help those with severe allergic reactions, and tried to use it as a weapon. Strangely, Peacock decided that maybe the officers weren't the best targets of his improvised weapon, apparently deciding that if he couldn't use it on the officers he would use it on himself. After being ordered to drop the EpiPen, Peacock turned it on himself, and stabbed himself in the neck. Eventually the officers managed to take him into custody, and he suffered no ill effects to the injection.

     Our last story comes from Fort Lauderdale where police are looking for four female robbers. These so

called "foxy thieves", have been working in pairs, hanging around high class bars, flirting with middle aged or older men who appear to be on the higher end of the income spectrum. Once the men have been seduced enough to take the women back to his place, one of the pair "distracts" the target, while the other makes him a drink laced with a knock out drug. Once the man has passed out, the ladies proceed to clean out the man's home, taking cash, jewelry, watches, and other valuables. So far only four men have come forward, but the police believe that more victims are out there, but they are too embarrassed to come forward.

Other stories in brief:

Homeless man after Starbucks tip jar climbs into drive-through window - threatens employees with chair, won't leave without his flip flops

Officials urge caution when fireworks are part of the celebration - Exploding fireworks are forbidden by law except if its used for agricultural purposes, officials said. In other news, the number of farmers explodes around New Years and the Fourth of July. ;)

About 200 cats seized from home - Couple tries to run no kill cat shelter out of their home, ends up being charged with animal cruelty

Who's that knocking at the door? An angry ex - Woman kicks in ex boyfriend's door, strikes him in the face.  She-Hulk smash!

Boynton cop accuses woman of kicking him in buttocks - She's here to drink gin and kick butt, and she's all out of gin.

Woman caught driving drunk - Woman was driving drunk the wrong way on the interstate. Did I mention that she was underage and had no pants on?

Intoxicated man goes on rampage after being denied fish soup - Not much I can add to that.