Only in Florida minute for April 22nd, 2014

Man busted in illegal napping location

     Most people like to take naps, however, few people would be willing to break into a house just to have one. Jeffery Dale Bolduc of Niceville claimed the he was doing just this when he was found by police in an unoccupied home with a broken window and a cinder block.

     Bolduc told officers that he knew the house was unoccupied when he entered it. When asked about the window, Bolduc claimed it was that way when he arrived there. He claimed that he only touched the screen and the block, but never used the latter on the former. 

     For his trouble, Bolduc was charged with criminal mischief and burglary of an unoccupied dwelling. No word on if he got his nap. 

Blotter: Fun Fact: It doesn't matter who put the weed in your glove box

     It has been said that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. However, one woman's attempt to throw her ex to the cops came back to bite her. 

     A local officer pulled the unnamed woman over when she was discovered driving through the Panama City Mall parking lot around two in the morning. Smelling marijuana, the officer asked the woman to step out of the car so it could be searched. As she did so, she excitedly proclaimed that the weed in her glove box was put there by her ex-boyfriend. The officer quickly instructed the woman that it didn't matter who placed it there. As she was the one driving, the marijuana was considered to be in her, not her ex-boyfriends, possession.

     The woman now faces charges of possession of marijuana and possession of drug paraphernalia.

Pair sentenced in videotaped beating of homeless man

     You can find almost anything on the internet. From cute kittens to the most offensive porn or gore imaginable, chances are it's there. Jeffery Williams of St. Petersburg, attempted to add to the negative end of that spectrum by filming a scantily clad Zuzu Vargo beating developmentally disabled schizophrenic James Cayer, in order to sell the film online as sadomasochistic pornography. 
     Both Vargo and Williams were found guilty last year of aggravated abuse of a disabled adult. While they could have faced up to 30 years they were sentenced this week with Vargo receiving 37 1/2 months jail time and Williams facing as much or more, as he was the organizer and was an experienced businessman.
     The sentencing judge denied the claim that the defendants had no way of knowing that Cayer was mentally ill when he signed the liability waiver before the incident. The judge also required that Vargo undergo treatment for her own substance abuse and mental disorders, including post-traumatic stress disorder.
     While this closes the case on the incident with Cayer, the pair still face charges for aggravated abuse of a disabled adult of another person.       

Only in Florida 7/15/2013

     Robert Vernon learned the hard way that one likes a braggart, especially a braggart who doesn't like to share. Vernon, a homeless man that goes by the street name of "Dingo", made two discoveries that wound up costing him his freedom. The first was that he could enter the Daytona Cubs ball park when it was closed by sliding through a spot between a gate and a wall. The second discovery was that even though the park might be shut down, not all of the beer taps were.

     Vernon was able to make three beer runs before he was caught, but know one knows exactly how much beer he got away with. On his earlier runs, he made the mistake of not sharing his bounty with the other homeless in the area. Angry that Vernon wouldn't share, some of the other homeless people in the area reported him to policewoman Sarah Martin to get back at him. Vernon managed to elude officer Martin until one of the parks employees spotted him early one Sunday morning.

     Alerted to his presence by the employees, Martin followed Vernon to a local park where she found him sitting at a table under a pavilion with the jug of beer beside him. “The day I arrested him he was sitting by the river drinking beer from a milk jug,” Martin said. While he may have not been smart enough not steal the beer, Vernon was at least smart enough to know when he was caught. “He confessed to me,” Martin said. “He said he had been there three times.” When asked what brand he was drinking, Vernon replied, “Whichever tap I could find open and on.”

     Vernon was unable to enjoy the last of his ill gotten gains, as officer Martin seized the jug of beer as evidence and arrested him. Vernon was charged with unarmed burglary and petty theft.


Other news in brief:

Ferna Quesner accused of cutting her mother's eyes out, Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office says - .... ok, this one is just messed up. Not sure you can get much more WTF than this.

Deputies: Couple charged after toddler left home alone - Sometimes, you just need to make a Wal-Mart run. Besides, that motorcycle didn't have a car seat. (facepalm)

Deputies Arrest 'Joker,' Accuse Him of Vandalizing Patrol Car, Another Residence - No mention of the arresting officer's last name, but I really hope it was Wayne.