Only in Florida 8/15/2013

     If you wish to see someone get angry very quickly, find a person who is in a rush and force them to wait in a line. There is almost nothing that can raise tempers faster. Recently, two Florida people learned the hard way that sometimes it is better to just patiently wait your turn.

     On the morning of August 7th, Mohammad Abukhder  was sitting in his car in the drive-thru of a Riverview, FL McDonalds. While he was waiting, Rebecca Simmons, of Tampa, forced her way into the line in front of Abukhder. Rightfully angry, Abukhder fumed behind his wheel until he couldn't take any more, and that is where things all went down hill.

     Abukhder started to yell and curse out of his window at Simmons. Simmons, who apparently wasn't in the mood to take the dressing down she so rightly deserved, got out of her car, pulled out a knife, and proceeded to stab through the hood of Abukhder's car.

     It is here that Abukhder made his second mistake. To keep Simmons from fleeing the scene, Abukhder stepped out of his car, approached Simmons's car, and tried to take the keys out of her ignition. Simmons wasn't too far behind Abukhder. And when Simmons saw what he was trying to do, she took the same knife she had just used to stab through Abukhder's hood, and stabbed him in the right buttock. Fortunately for Abukhder his wound didn't require medical attention.

     Simmons was arrested and was charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon and criminal mischief with property damage.


Other news in brief:

Wellington man says ‘devil’ made him assault girl - Uh huh, sure he did.

Man says girlfriend got drunk, struck him with yard reflector - Maybe she wanted to make him see the light?

Woman arrested after threatening to 'blow up' Gulf Power - Ah terrorism, there is a bill negotiating tactic I never would have thought of.

Only in Florida 7/15/2013

     Robert Vernon learned the hard way that one likes a braggart, especially a braggart who doesn't like to share. Vernon, a homeless man that goes by the street name of "Dingo", made two discoveries that wound up costing him his freedom. The first was that he could enter the Daytona Cubs ball park when it was closed by sliding through a spot between a gate and a wall. The second discovery was that even though the park might be shut down, not all of the beer taps were.

     Vernon was able to make three beer runs before he was caught, but know one knows exactly how much beer he got away with. On his earlier runs, he made the mistake of not sharing his bounty with the other homeless in the area. Angry that Vernon wouldn't share, some of the other homeless people in the area reported him to policewoman Sarah Martin to get back at him. Vernon managed to elude officer Martin until one of the parks employees spotted him early one Sunday morning.

     Alerted to his presence by the employees, Martin followed Vernon to a local park where she found him sitting at a table under a pavilion with the jug of beer beside him. “The day I arrested him he was sitting by the river drinking beer from a milk jug,” Martin said. While he may have not been smart enough not steal the beer, Vernon was at least smart enough to know when he was caught. “He confessed to me,” Martin said. “He said he had been there three times.” When asked what brand he was drinking, Vernon replied, “Whichever tap I could find open and on.”

     Vernon was unable to enjoy the last of his ill gotten gains, as officer Martin seized the jug of beer as evidence and arrested him. Vernon was charged with unarmed burglary and petty theft.


Other news in brief:

Ferna Quesner accused of cutting her mother's eyes out, Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office says - .... ok, this one is just messed up. Not sure you can get much more WTF than this.

Deputies: Couple charged after toddler left home alone - Sometimes, you just need to make a Wal-Mart run. Besides, that motorcycle didn't have a car seat. (facepalm)

Deputies Arrest 'Joker,' Accuse Him of Vandalizing Patrol Car, Another Residence - No mention of the arresting officer's last name, but I really hope it was Wayne.