Only in Florida minute for April 25th, 2014

Florida woman calls police over sun halo in the sky

     The residents of Tampa were treated last week to a sun halo. A sun halo is a when the light from the sun is refracted by the ice crystals of very high clouds, making sometimes a darker patch of sky around the sun with a rainbow ring at its edge. While most simply enjoyed the view, a Tampa woman panicked, ran to a bus station and called 911.

     "This has never happened before in Tampa, Fla. Please go outside and look up in the sky and look at this weird object," she said pleadingly. "It's a big dark circle and it's all the way around and it has never been in the United States of America. Never, ever."

     I love the confidence of this woman. Not content to stop with the city, she brings the entire country into it. As it turns out, sun halos are not that rare of an event. The 911 dispatcher is recorded promising the woman that she would send an officer to her location to check it out. The woman was apparently confused why they would send someone to her, told the dispatcher that it could be seen from anywhere.

GOP Lawmaker Arrested After He Allegedly Ran A Red Light Leaving Taco Bell Drunk 

     A Florida lawmaker's early morning taco run was cut a bit short when he was arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence around 2 a.m. Monday morning.

     Rep. Dane Eagle (R) was taken into custody after officers saw him nearly hit one curb, then veer into another after running a red light. Eagle's eyes appeared to be bloodshot and offices claimed they could smell alcohol on his breath. Eagle refuted the last claim, saying the smell was not from him, but from some friends who had been to a bar and had ridden with him earlier.

     Eagle refused to take a sobriety test, telling the officers that he was good to go home on his own, despite stumbling out of his car after the officers pulled him over. Eagle was taken to jail, but he was not there long. He made it back to the statehouse to vote on an issue Monday afternoon.

     Tuesday, Eagle released a written statement saying, "While there are some decisions that I would have made differently, I do not believe there is a complete and accurate picture of the events,". Eagle continued by saying, "Under advice of my legal counsel, I cannot discuss all the details right now, but I look forward to publically (sic) sharing the entire story at an appropriate time. Until then, I humbly ask for everyone's patience. I know that I am accountable for my actions, and I look forward to communicating with my constituents in the near future on this matter."

     Hands up, how many people think he really looks forward to talking about this with his constituents in the near future? Anyone? Anyone? Yeah, I don't think so either.

Only in Florida minute for April 21st, 2014

Woman drove wrong way, ignored police warnings, report says

     Someone driving the wrong way isn't too unusual unfortunately. However, someone turning themselves in and then being upset at what follows, is. At least she save the police and taxpayers the time and expense of tracking her down.

Man passed out at intersection for half-hour arrested for DUI

     Alcohol induced nap attacks almost never happen at a good time. You have to hope no one got stuck behind him. The only thing worse than a long red light, is a long turn signal from the car in front. 

Man in bar lets off fire extinguisher; $1,400 in liquor ruined

     No fog machine for your party? This man has the answer.

Man found wandering amid wreck he wasn't involved in

     Rubbernecking on drugs, not even once.

Lastly, the headline of the day: Deputies: Man smothered crying son over video game

     Parent of the year material here. Seeing headlines like this make me wish there was some sort of qualification exam or screening process you had to go through to become a parent. I understand how crazy it can be being a parent, I have a daughter of my own, but there is no excuse for things like this.

Only in Florida 8/15/2013

     If you wish to see someone get angry very quickly, find a person who is in a rush and force them to wait in a line. There is almost nothing that can raise tempers faster. Recently, two Florida people learned the hard way that sometimes it is better to just patiently wait your turn.

     On the morning of August 7th, Mohammad Abukhder  was sitting in his car in the drive-thru of a Riverview, FL McDonalds. While he was waiting, Rebecca Simmons, of Tampa, forced her way into the line in front of Abukhder. Rightfully angry, Abukhder fumed behind his wheel until he couldn't take any more, and that is where things all went down hill.

     Abukhder started to yell and curse out of his window at Simmons. Simmons, who apparently wasn't in the mood to take the dressing down she so rightly deserved, got out of her car, pulled out a knife, and proceeded to stab through the hood of Abukhder's car.

     It is here that Abukhder made his second mistake. To keep Simmons from fleeing the scene, Abukhder stepped out of his car, approached Simmons's car, and tried to take the keys out of her ignition. Simmons wasn't too far behind Abukhder. And when Simmons saw what he was trying to do, she took the same knife she had just used to stab through Abukhder's hood, and stabbed him in the right buttock. Fortunately for Abukhder his wound didn't require medical attention.

     Simmons was arrested and was charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon and criminal mischief with property damage.


Other news in brief:

Wellington man says ‘devil’ made him assault girl - Uh huh, sure he did.

Man says girlfriend got drunk, struck him with yard reflector - Maybe she wanted to make him see the light?

Woman arrested after threatening to 'blow up' Gulf Power - Ah terrorism, there is a bill negotiating tactic I never would have thought of.

Only in Florida 8/13/2013

     Social media is being used more and more to broadcast the big moments in our lives. These days, it's normal to announce your engagement on Twitter, or your child's birth on Facebook. However, there are some things that still should not be broadcast to the world at large. A man from Miami provided and example of what not to share when he shot and killed his wife, then posted pictures of her body on Facebook.

     Thirty-one year old Derek Medina, of Miami posted the pictures of his wife's corpse shortly after 11 AM, Thursday, August 8th. Along with the pictures he also posted in a message to his friends, "Im going to prison or death sentence for killing my wife love you guys miss you guys takecare Facebook people you will see me in the news".

     In an apparent attempt to provide a reason for his actions, Medina also wrote, "My wife was punching me and I am not going to stand anymore with the abuse so I did what I did I hope u understand me". All of this was followed with, "Rip Jennifer Alfonso", which was his wife's name.

     The couple had a far from perfect marriage, Medina and his wife had divorced and remarried in the span of three months last year, after only being together for a couple of years. According to the neighbors, the murder came as a complete shock. None of the neighbors felt that Medina was a violent man, at most, they just saw him as being a little odd.

     A neighbor of Medina's, 33-year-old Yoshi Dade, said Medina had approached him while he was working out at the apartment complex over a year ago. Dade said Medina told him he was part of the neighborhood watch and that he had a concealed weapons permit, claims that officials haven't been able to verify. "He would walk around here and kinda patrol the area. He was always telling me there was a lot of stuff going on around here," Dade said. While he thought the incident was strange, Dade only saw Medina a few times after that. Other neighbors only said that Medina was a very quiet person who would never say hello.

     Medina was also a budding blogger and self published author. However, some of the titles of his books are a bit unusual to say the least. The title of one of his books is, "World Just Ask Yourself Why We Are Living a Life Full of Lies and How I an Emotional Writer Made All of My Professional Dreams Come True Blocking Society's Teachings", is one such example. Another of his books is, looking back, ironically titled, "How I Saved Someone's Life and Marriage and Family Problems Thru Communication". On his blog, Medina has a story on his blog about  how he fought off a "demon ghost" that was trying to attack his wife. A story which surely must somehow tie into his book called, "Humans Who Are Gifted and Can See The Supernatural Spirit Ghost World We Live in Called Ghost Haunted Adventures".

     Fortunately, Medina saved the police a manhunt. He turned himself in to police a few hours after he made the posts. Medina has been charged with first-degree murder and the judge has ordered him held without bond.


Other news in brief:

Man puts gun to wife’s head during fight over laundry soap - That's one way to win an argument I guess?

Man practices tae kwan do on light pole - He reportedly heard light pole say something about his mom.

The Hunger Games Summer Camp is a Terrible Idea - Sure, lets let kids act out their violent fantasies on each other, what could it hurt?

   



 

Only in Florida 8/6/2013

       Alcohol can make people to strange inexplicable things. Recently, a Daytona man had a bit to much to drink, and decided to take a very early morning drive. The man, one Leon J. Lovelady of Daytona, however, had to overcome a few hurdles blocking him from his cruse around town.

     First of all, he didn't have a licence. However, the alcohol must have been whispering in Lovelady's ear that he didn't need to worry about such a minor technicality. Ignoring his first problem, Lovelady went about solving his next one. To go on his midnight ride, he actually needed to have a car. Lovelady solved that predicament, when he procured the keys to his visiting sister's Chevy Blazer.

     With everything going swimmingly so far, Lovelady made one last stop before he left. Apparently not content to go out by his self, Lovelady woke up both his four year old and his eight year old nephews to take them along for the ride.

     At some point things took a turn for the worse, which inevitably happens when one goes out drunk driving, and the SUV wound up with it's nose stuck in a water filled ditch. As police approached the vehicle, one of the two siblings could be seen holding an empty vodka bottle. Lovelady, clearly intoxicated, told the officers, “that he had a couple of shots of gin just prior to the crash.”

     While, the two children were unharmed in the accident, they were a little shaken up by all that had happened prior to it. The children told officers, “Uncle Leon was trying to hurt us, driving fast, turning the music up loud, and almost hitting stuff.”

Lovelady racked up a string of charges on his little jaunt. He was charged with grand theft of a motor vehicle, no valid driver's license, driving under the influence and two counts of child abuse.

Other news in brief:

Report: Woman tears up clothes; man responds with cane - Spare the rod, spoil the wife (rolls eyes and shakes head).

Florida Keys Man Calls 911 to Report False Kidnapping After Girlfriend Moves Out -  Desperate times call for desperate measures. 

'I asked her to stop and let me out and she wouldn’t. She kidnapped me' - Yeah, sure she did.

Only in Florida 7/29/2013

     Airports have become some of the most secure places on the planet. If you ever want or need to be placed in police custody quickly, try acting weird or carrying around a suspicious looking package at an airport. With this being the case, it is no wonder that officials at the Opa-locka Executive Airport were concerned when they were informed that an anonymous tip indicated that there was a radioactive 55 gallon drum in one of their maintenance areas.

     After verifying that the tip was true, Police and firefighters sealed off the area and shut down the airport as radiation meters at first indicated that the uranium could be leaking. The drum, which was filled with radioactive and nonradioactive airplane parts, was near a plane that was being disassembled.

     The airport, which did not have the resources to handle such a situation, had to call in the hazardous-response team from Miami International Airport for assistance. After a few hours, the area was declared safe, but neither the fire department, nor the hazmat crew had the resources to dispose of the radioactive material. With no where else to turn, officials called the EPA, and left the clean up and disposal of the materials to the local Department of Environmental Protection. They in turn had to start searching for a contractor who could safely remove and dispose of the material.

     While no one was injured and the site is being cleaned, the question still remains, where did the uranium come from? As it turns out, many older model planes used it to balance the plane while it was flying, as well as for some navigational purposes. Someone took these parts off an older model plane, and then, apparently because the cost to properly dispose of it would have been too high, mixed them in with some other parts. From the article, it appeared that no one wanted to take the blame for what happened, with each person passing the blame down the line. While we may never know exactly who did it, at least the mess is being properly disposed of.


Other news in brief:

Police: Man chokes teen over middle finger - If you flick someone off and they start to follow you, for the love of all that is holy, don't stop!

Man tells lawmen his drinking buddy punched him, breaking his hearing aid - That will show him.

Woman arrested for DUI after police find her asleep behind the wheel in Abacoa - She had her child, her cat, and a partridge in a pear tree in the car with her.

Only in Florida 7/18/2013

      If you are pulled over by a police officer, never tell them, "I'm awesome" or ask them to dance.

     Early in the morning of June 22, two deputies from the Indian River County Sheriff's office were responding to a burglary call when they were almost forced off the road by a Mercury Grand Marquis making wide turns and driving erratically. The deputies pulled the car over, and the driver, 44 year old Julie Kay Harper, appeared to be intoxicated. As she responded to officers, her speech seemed slurred, her eyes appeared to be bloodshot and she smelled of alcohol. While those three signs are by themselves pretty good indicators of someone being drunk, the deputies needed to be sure. However, any doubt the deputies had about Harper's insobriety soon vanished after they started to talk her.

     As the officers approached Harper, she was asked show she was doing. Her response was simply, 'I'm awesome." When asked her address, all Harper would say was "53", and that she had only lived there, "A minute"

     One of the officers asked, "For 60 seconds, that's all?"

     "That's it," Harper replied laughingly. According to the arrest report, she then said, "Yeah I know I'm fu--ed." Officers then attempted to give Harper a field sobriety test, but when they flashed a light into her eyes she jokingly asked the officer, "Are we gonna dance?"

Harper was asked if she would walk a straight line, but she gave up after just one attempt. "I can't. My fat. My legs are fat," she said. Harper later added "It's not gonna happen. Just fu--ing take me to jail."

The officers granted her request, and Harper was charged with a DUI, driving an unregistered car and driving with a suspended license.


Other news in brief:

Neighbor: Man begged forgiveness when caught having sex with pool raft - I wonder if Oops I did it again is his favorite song

Deputy sheriff applicant arrested for lewd and lascivious - He wanted experience with the justice system. Be careful what you wish for.

Pinellas Park wife, Sharon Tillman, arrested for letting disabled husband rot in bed - Love hurts I guess?

Only in Florida 7/17/2013

     Facebook has become one of the major ways that people communicate these days. Because so many people go to the social media website, some police departments have started posting information about criminals that they are searching for, hoping to obtain information that will lead to their capture. However, doing so has lead to some unintended interactions between the fugitives and the police searching for them. Few of these fugitive's seem to have learned the truth behind the old adage, "silence is golden"

     Matthew Oliver, 23, was the Pasco county sheriff's "Fugitive of the Day" on Wednesday, July 10th. Oliver, after seeing his picture on the site, began angrily commenting on it. "You guys are going to pay for A. Believing a crack head. and B. Slandering my name," Oliver wrote. "I already heard about this whole thing and I was in the hospital the day of." A few minutes after the above post Oliver stated that, "I get out of the hospital for 2 months and I have to come back to this sh**. I swear on everything I own Pasco County WILL be held responsible for this."

     Oliver apparently thought that if he threatened or yelled enough, that would scare the officer's off his trail. Over the course of the next two days, Oliver left more comments on the post. The sheriff's office, however, was undeterred by Oliver's numerous attempts to dissuade their pursuit. No matter the motivations behind his posts, all Oliver was really doing was blazing a trail for the police to follow right to him. Several of Oliver's Facebook friends saw the commotion he was raising, and messaged the sheriff's office with tips to where he was located. Oliver was arrested at a relative's house Friday afternoon.

     Let this be a lesson to any criminals out there. First of all, don't commit the crime in the first place, it's not worth it no matter how much it seems like it is. Secondly, if you did do the crime and are now in hiding, don't post of Facebook, unless you really want to get caught. Lastly, if you ignored the first two, for the love of all this is holy don't threaten the police. It will only make things worse for you and you'll be a laughing stock for the news.


Other news in brief:

Woman's pet snake gets stuck in car tail light - One question: Why do you let a Boa Constrictor loose in your car in the first place?

Woman accused of drunk dialing 911 twenty times - Instead of the freedom she wanted, all this lady got was some time in jail.

Police: Man attacked teen and pregnant woman with shovel over $25 - All he needs to do is refine his tactics a bit and this man could work for a credit card company.

Police: Arrested man called 911, asked for a new officer - "No, no, this officer is being way too mean."

Man confuses addresses and chokes the wrong person - Protip: Always double check the address when you are going to commit physical violence

Only in Florida 7/16/2013

     America is a fast food nation. Even if you go to the absolute middle of nowhere, you are only 115 miles away from a McDonald's. While having a relatively cheap and abundant place to eat has both it pluses and minuses, one of those definitely in the minus column is that you are not guaranteed that the food will be great every time.Fast food has that name for a reason, and sometimes quality is forced to the wayside for quantity. When this happens, there is little that can be done, especially if you have left the restaurant. One of the things you can't do, however, is to stage a one person sit-in in the drive through demanding free food to make up for it.

     Thirty-four year old Kimberly Womack learned this lesson the hard way last week after she had a few too many and drove up to the drive thorough of a New Port Richey, Florida McDonald's at 6 o'clock in the morning. When she arrived, Womack demanded two free BigMacs, because she was unsatisfied with the ones she got when she was there previously. When the employees told her that they couldn't do that because they were only serving breakfast, Womack demanded that they give her two free Egg McMuffins instead.

     Told to leave, Womack decided to stand, or rather sit, her ground. Police arrived, and Womack told the officers that her rights were being violated because the restaurant wouldn't give her a free breakfast. While the officers were talking to her, she allegedly told them she thought it was only 4 A.M. and she had taken a Klonopin. The officers could smell alcohol on her, and when she failed a field sobriety test, Womack was arrested for DUI. She had a BAC of .108. No word was given on when she finally got something to eat.


Other news in brief:

We have a trio of bad parent stories:

Former Florida Gators linebacker Monty Grow arrested for leaving 3-year-old in car while at strip club

South Florida Sisters Gambled in Casino While Kids Sat in Running Car: Authorities

Florida Woman Leaves Kids In Car While She Attended Lil Wayne Concert

This is wrong on so many levels. Several children die every year here in Florida because they are left in cars in the summer heat. According to Florida law, you can leave children under six unattended in car for up to 15 minutes. However, you should never do this if it would place the child in danger or at risk, such as in full sun in the middle of summer with the windows rolled up. Leaving them in the car to run into a convenience store for a minute is ok, but depending on the weather, you better be quick about it. Also, if your child accidentally gets locked in the car, call the nearest police department. They will come, free of charge, and unlock the door for you.

Anyway, on a more humorous note:

Report: Woman being released pokes cop in eye - So close, yet so far

Lady Lake police: Couple steals steaks, speeds off in dirty golf cart - I have heard of lots of different getaway vehicles, but this is the first time I've ever heard of a dirty golf cart being used.

Only in Florida 7/10/2013

     If you are reading this from Florida, you may be breaking the law. Recently the governor of Florida signed a bill into law aimed at shutting down so called internet cafes. The term internet cafe here is a bit of a misnomer, and a a better description of what they really were is a small time casino. The proponents of the new law hoped it would make these gaming machines illegal, which it does do. However, due to the way these machines are defined in the law, lawmakers may have inadvertently banned anything capable of accessing the internet.

     The bill basically defines "any machine or device by which someone can play a game of chance" as a slot machine. While online gambling has been banned in the US for quite some time, those who are determined enough can find offshore sites that they can connect to over the net from the comfort of their own homes. And since you can do this on your home PC, possibly even on your smart phone, your computer or phone could technically be called a slot machine, which would make it illegal in the state of Florida.

     While the bill was signed into law, this doesn't mean the matter is settled. A company that owned several of these establishments is fighting back and has filed suit hoping in the very least to get some clarification on the law. Hopefully some clarification will be provided, but with this being Florida, who knows when or if that will happen. Plus even if the definition is changed, chances are your TV remote could be the next thing they accidentally outlaw.

Other news in brief:

 Cops: Gun-toting HOA officer threatened residents watching fireworks - Well, it looks like they took away Barney's guns

Man uses homosexual, racial epithets against cops - Come on, tell us how you really feel

Only in Florida 7/8/2013

    This one lands clearly in the WTF column. 39 year old Kimberly Clark Kiernan took things a bit too far when she hosted a party for her 16 year old son. Kiernan's party raised such a ruckus, that neighbors, fearing for the safety of her seven year old son, called the police. When the officers arrived, Kiernan, who was so intoxicated that she couldn't stand on her own, first told the police that her younger son wasn't at home.
     When the officers wanted to come in and verify her claim, Kiernan backed into her hall, shut the door on the officers, and proceeded to barricade the door. The officers called for backup from Riviera Beach Police Department, which sent eight officers over to help. Eventually, the officers broke their way into the apartment, and located the younger son locked in a room by himself. The boy told officers, "Mommy locked me in the bathroom".
     When the officers managed to round everyone up, a total of 26 teenagers, most 14 to 15 years old, were removed from the apartment. Searching the apartment, the officers found two 50 gallon trash bags filled with alcohol and empty bottles. In the bathroom, they saved a 16 year old girl that was passed out, and choking on her own vomit. Kiernan was eventually located under a huge mound of clothes in her bedroom. Kiernan was charged with 26 counts of contributing to the delinquency of a minor, child abuse and giving false information to a police officer.
   

Other news in brief:

Florida misspelled twice on interstate sign - What amazes me is that the sign was made, transported to the site and installed before anyone noticed.

Yikes! Gator attacked woman's kayak - Gators 1, kayaks 0

Deputies: Deltona man bites grandma in argument over wine - I understand being mad enough to hit someone, but being mad enough to bite...yikes.

Only in Florida 7/3/2013

     Our first story today comes from Gainesville where 33 year old Birnard Larkin Jr.was arrested for trying

to murder his cousin. What drove Larkin into a homicidal rage? He was not invited to a birthday party at his aunt's house for some one and two year old children in the neighborhood. The reason he was snubbed? His aunt knew that there was already a warrant out for his arrest, and she didn't want to risk having the police show up in the middle of the party.
     While this sounds reasonable enough, Larkin was incensed. Upon hearing this, he proceeded to curse profusely and threaten the life of his aunt's son. Also, he asked to have some of the food from the party brought to him. Clearly, Larkin is a master of persuasion, as after his curses and threats, his aunt allowed her son to take him a plate of food.
     As the man arrived at Larkin's house, food in hand, Larkin pushed him off his bike, cursed at him and fired two shots, which fortunately missed, at his head. The cousin fled, but apparently not far enough, as Larkin caught up to him, shooting, and missing, him twice more.
     Eventually, the police caught up to him, and he was booked and charged with attempted first-degree murder and possession of a firearm by a convicted felon. Oh, and that warrant that had been out for his arrest? It was for domestic battery on a pregnant woman for attacking his sister who was six months pregnant. Now who wouldn't want this guy at a birthday party for kids.

Other news in brief:

Ybor City post office reopens after suspicious package found to contain eucalyptus oil - At least they discovered what it was instead of just blowing it up, which seems to be normal procedure these days.

Infuriated man kicks out patrol car window after arrest, deputies say - This man never skipped leg day at the gym.

GPD: Man kidnaps woman, threatens woman and child over debt - Why pay debt collectors when you can do it yourself.

2 women arrested after getting drunk in Wal-Mart - Ain't no party like a Wal-Mart pary.

Kangaroo leads Florida deputies on 10-hour chase - First pythons, now kangroos, what's next?

Teen hit by celebratory gunfire in Florida after NBA Finals - I'm so happy, I just have to shoot the sky!

Only in Florida 7/2/2013

Due to there being so much weird, wacky and WTF news from Florida, I've decided to make a change to how the blog is done. Instead of making a post for every story I find, I've decided that a more concise approach would be best. Going forward, I will have a single post recapping all the wackiness that is Florida. Now, back to your regularly scheduled blog post.

     Our first story comes from West Palm Beach where Roosevelt Mondesir, 53, was convicted of trying to

heat up his relationship with his girlfriend. Now, normally this trying to rekindle that old spark isn't a criminal offence, however when you try to use gasoline to do it, that is where the law draws a strict line in the sand. The icing on the cake of this story is defense attorney Thomas Weiss remark, “It’s the proverbial schoolboy getting the girl’s attention by pulling her pigtails. Very obviously we’re far from schoolyards and pig tails here, but it’s the same principal of trying to get that attention by any means,”. Fortunately, his girlfriend survived the horrific, attention seeking , encounter and is on the road to recovery.

     Our next story comes from Plantation Key, where Cole Alan Peacock tried to resist arrest on charges of

Fraud and Grand Theft. When police arrived to arrest him, Peacock decided that he wouldn't go down without a fight and pulled what turned out to be an EpiPen, a medical device used to help those with severe allergic reactions, and tried to use it as a weapon. Strangely, Peacock decided that maybe the officers weren't the best targets of his improvised weapon, apparently deciding that if he couldn't use it on the officers he would use it on himself. After being ordered to drop the EpiPen, Peacock turned it on himself, and stabbed himself in the neck. Eventually the officers managed to take him into custody, and he suffered no ill effects to the injection.

     Our last story comes from Fort Lauderdale where police are looking for four female robbers. These so

called "foxy thieves", have been working in pairs, hanging around high class bars, flirting with middle aged or older men who appear to be on the higher end of the income spectrum. Once the men have been seduced enough to take the women back to his place, one of the pair "distracts" the target, while the other makes him a drink laced with a knock out drug. Once the man has passed out, the ladies proceed to clean out the man's home, taking cash, jewelry, watches, and other valuables. So far only four men have come forward, but the police believe that more victims are out there, but they are too embarrassed to come forward.

Other stories in brief:

Homeless man after Starbucks tip jar climbs into drive-through window - threatens employees with chair, won't leave without his flip flops

Officials urge caution when fireworks are part of the celebration - Exploding fireworks are forbidden by law except if its used for agricultural purposes, officials said. In other news, the number of farmers explodes around New Years and the Fourth of July. ;)

About 200 cats seized from home - Couple tries to run no kill cat shelter out of their home, ends up being charged with animal cruelty

Who's that knocking at the door? An angry ex - Woman kicks in ex boyfriend's door, strikes him in the face.  She-Hulk smash!

Boynton cop accuses woman of kicking him in buttocks - She's here to drink gin and kick butt, and she's all out of gin.

Woman caught driving drunk - Woman was driving drunk the wrong way on the interstate. Did I mention that she was underage and had no pants on?

Intoxicated man goes on rampage after being denied fish soup - Not much I can add to that. 

What's the problem occifer...?

Drunk cargo pilot for Orlando carrier faces prison time

Philip Lavoie,28, of Sarasota faces up to 15 years in federal prison.

By Arelis R. Hernández, Orlando Sentinel

10:48 a.m. EDT, June 14, 2013

A pilot for an Orlando-based cargo company is facing federal prison time after authorities said he was flying drunk with a blood-alcohol level six times over the legal limit for aviators.

Philip Lavoie, 28, of Sarasota pleaded guilty to operating a plane while under the influence and could spend a maximum of 15 years in prison.

Lavoie was flying between North Carolina and Tampa for the carrier Flight Express when he lost contact with air-traffic controllers...

Read the rest here.

I'm not as think as you drunk I am. *Hiccup*

'murica

"Starting just after midnight on Oct. 29, the fellow called 9-1-1 and claimed he was having a dispute with his landlord and wanted to know what his rights were as a tenant. When deputies didn't arrive at his residence in the time he thought was appropriate, he called back and cussed out the dispatcher. Then he hung up.

A deputy went to his residence and discovered he was "highly intoxicated," the deputy wrote in the arrest report. His speech was slurred and he smelled strongly of alcohol. The deputy explained the Sheriff's Office lacked jurisdiction in a landlord-tenant dispute and he should stop abusing the 9-1-1 system, as it's for emergencies only.

The man defied this order and called 9-1-1 again, refusing to cooperate with the dispatcher but letting it be known he was recording the call. The deputy went back to his place and warned him again not to call 9-1-1. He provided the man with the office's non-emergency number.

At around 3:30 a.m. the man called 9-1-1 again and asked to speak to a lieutentant or sergeant about a domestic incident. When asked where he was, the man said he was in "Destin," then "America." When asked where he was in Destin, the man replied, "I said America not Destin."

For a third time the deputy went to his residence. He determined there was no domestic disturbance emergency and placed the man under arrest. He had to be dragged to the deputy's cruiser."

Well at least he can't be charged with providing false information to the police, the man was indeed in America.

Sources:
1. http://www.nwfdailynews.com/local-news/crime/police-blotters/man-says-he-s-in-america-not-destin-1.40713
2. http://www.funnyjunk.com/funny_pictures/3843461/Makes+Me+Proud/

Children will climb

     A Fort Walton Beach woman was charged with felony child neglect without great harm after her 5-year-old child was found nude on the roof of the residence.
Caroline Sue Humphrey, who is 44, was intoxicated and unaware that her child was on the roof, according to her Okaloosa County Sheriff's Office arrest report.
A witness notified her and retrieved the child off the roof with a ladder.
While the deputy was interviewing witnesses and Humphrey, he noted that she allowed her child to climb onto a truck and stand in the window of the vehicle, hanging onto the side.
When the deputy told Humphrey to get her child off the vehicle, she replied, "Children will climb."


     Wow is all I have to say about this one. Yeah children will climb, but stripped down naked and up on the roof? That is way above and beyond normal. And then while the cop is there about the kid being on the roof, he climbs in a truck and stands in it's window? I think we may have a canidate for mother of the year right here.

Source:
Northwest Florida Daily News
http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:1rSBxreE0CIJ:www.nwfdailynews.com/articles/child-52127-humphrey-roof.html+&cd=2&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us