Only in Florida 8/5/2013

     This one falls deep into WTF territory. 

     In the early morning of Saturday, August 3rd, Jose Trinidad Sanches-Uriostegui, 29, drove over a sidewalk and struck a golf cart that was traveling near the road, according to a Florida Highway Patrol incident report. No reason for the crash was given, and both Sanchez-Uriostegui and the driver and passenger of the golf cart had to be treated at area hospitals.

     What started out as a man's car hits golf cart story took a turn for the weird when police received a call from an anonymous caller that claimed that Sanchez-Uriostegui's car had a bomb in it. Taking the threat seriously, officers closed down the nearby road, and called out the bomb squad and the K-9 unit. After a through search of the car, the only thing that was found was a bottle of hydrogen peroxide.

     Officers eventually traced the phone that made the 9-1-1 call to Sanchez-Uriostegui's cell. Why he made the call is anyone's guess. Also, apparently not content to face just the bomb threat charge, Sanchez-Uriostegui also faces an assault charge. Sanchez-Uriostegui allegedly punched one of the paramedics that was treating him on the scene.


Other news in brief:

‘Best’ meth cook goes to prison - Well, I guess somebody has to be the best at it.

Police: Amanda Greenwood ties child to urine soaked bed - Mother knows best (facepalm).

Hernando woman crushed by homemade elevator - Just because you can DIY, doesn't mean you should.

Only in Florida 7/25/2013

      The old phrase, "throw the baby out with the bath water" is obviously meant to be taken figuratively. No one would want to throw their child, right? While most people would see this as common sense, one parent apparently missed the memo.
   
     Ashley Taylor Wright, 23, of Pensacola, was enjoying a day of shopping at the Santa Rosa Mall with her husband and two children. While they were in Dillard's, Wright decided to try and get a bit more for her money and placed two pairs of jeans and a shirt, worth more than 260 dollars, in her baby's stroller.

     The pilfering parent made it all the way to her car before she was stopped by an Okaloosa County sheriff's deputy. As he approached, Wright yelled at her husband to leave, and the officer attempted to get her to exit the vehicle. In response, she grabbed her child's carrier, with the baby inside, and told the deputy, "You will have to shoot through the baby to get me.”

     With no other solution presenting itself, Wright decided that the only way out was to make a run for it. As she did, apparently seeking a distraction, she threw her 14 pound infant at the deputy. Fortunately the child was unharmed. Wright, however, was not so lucky. As she ran from the deputy, she stumbled and fell, which gave him the chance to catch up. In a last ditch effort to escape, Wright tried to fight with the deputy on the ground. However, she lost the battle and was taken into custody. After her capture, the deputy noticed that Wright had suffered a cut on her head which required treatment at a local hospital.

     After being released from the hospital, Wright was charged with petty theft, child abuse without great bodily harm, resisting an officer without violence, and placed on $7,000 bond.


Other news in brief:

Police: Shoplifter's fight over 99-cent chips gets him robbery charge - Mother knows best

Mom angry daughter didn’t want to be baptized with her - Mother: You will get dunked, and you will like it!

Police say barefoot UPS employee tried to hide stolen cellphones in boots - Maybe he wanted to be called the barefoot bandit?

Flagler woman accused of battering boyfriend - She may be small, but she is fierce.

Police: Man shoves woman out of moving minivan after argument over beer on his way to rehab - They tried to make him go to rehab, but he said, "no, no, no".

Only in Florida 7/23/2013

     There are very few places in the United States that allow public nudity. Mostly, these places are either secluded beaches, campgrounds, or resorts. Outside of those areas, people tend to keep their clothes on, unless they are in New Orleans for Mardi Gras and are very intoxicated. Because of this, when an unidentified man decided to take a naked jaunt down the median of the Caloosahatchee Bridge near Fort Myers, he attracted no small amount of attention.

      Early in the morning of July 16th, the Lee County Sheriff's Office started receiving reports of a naked man walking southbound on the Caloosahatchee Bridge. Witnesses on the scene described the man as, "not wearing clothes and waving his hands with raised arms as he walked." When the deputies arrived, wrapped him  apprehended him, the man, with apparently nothing to hide, told the deputies that he had parked his car near the foot of the bridge, and it was rigged with explosives.

     Generally, law enforcement officers tend to not take bomb threats lightly, even if they are given by a naked, arm waving man. To keep everyone safe, the deputies closed off the bridge and called in the bomb squad to disarm the man's car. Using their specialized robots, the bomb techs carefully searched the car from a distance, eventually clearing the car to be approached. The car did have some suspicious items in it, but there was no bomb and the bridge was reopened later in the day.

     Normally, the man who made the threat would be charged and placed in jail. However, in this case, the man was Baker Acted, and was taken to a local mental health facility for evaluation. Most native Floridians know what the Baker Act is, but to those unaware, the Baker Act is a law in Florida where a person can be involuntarily detained for a psychological evaluation if they clearly have a mental illness, or they are a harm to themselves, a harm to others, or they are self neglectful. The act was named for a Florida state representative, Maxine Baker, who was deeply interested in mental health issues.


Other news in brief:

Angry homeowner threatens tree-trimming crew with shotgun - You can take my tree limbs from my cold, dead hands!

Man just out of prison for 1995 murder accused of beating woman to point of unconsciousness in West Palm Beach - Some people just don't learn their lesson.

Police: DeLand man sits on baby's head because child would not fall asleep - ....seriously, WTF. Father of the year material right here.

Man arrested for performing dentistry at his Boca home without license, deputies say - Nothing says professionalism like a laundry room dentists office.

Only in Florida 7/16/2013

     America is a fast food nation. Even if you go to the absolute middle of nowhere, you are only 115 miles away from a McDonald's. While having a relatively cheap and abundant place to eat has both it pluses and minuses, one of those definitely in the minus column is that you are not guaranteed that the food will be great every time.Fast food has that name for a reason, and sometimes quality is forced to the wayside for quantity. When this happens, there is little that can be done, especially if you have left the restaurant. One of the things you can't do, however, is to stage a one person sit-in in the drive through demanding free food to make up for it.

     Thirty-four year old Kimberly Womack learned this lesson the hard way last week after she had a few too many and drove up to the drive thorough of a New Port Richey, Florida McDonald's at 6 o'clock in the morning. When she arrived, Womack demanded two free BigMacs, because she was unsatisfied with the ones she got when she was there previously. When the employees told her that they couldn't do that because they were only serving breakfast, Womack demanded that they give her two free Egg McMuffins instead.

     Told to leave, Womack decided to stand, or rather sit, her ground. Police arrived, and Womack told the officers that her rights were being violated because the restaurant wouldn't give her a free breakfast. While the officers were talking to her, she allegedly told them she thought it was only 4 A.M. and she had taken a Klonopin. The officers could smell alcohol on her, and when she failed a field sobriety test, Womack was arrested for DUI. She had a BAC of .108. No word was given on when she finally got something to eat.


Other news in brief:

We have a trio of bad parent stories:

Former Florida Gators linebacker Monty Grow arrested for leaving 3-year-old in car while at strip club

South Florida Sisters Gambled in Casino While Kids Sat in Running Car: Authorities

Florida Woman Leaves Kids In Car While She Attended Lil Wayne Concert

This is wrong on so many levels. Several children die every year here in Florida because they are left in cars in the summer heat. According to Florida law, you can leave children under six unattended in car for up to 15 minutes. However, you should never do this if it would place the child in danger or at risk, such as in full sun in the middle of summer with the windows rolled up. Leaving them in the car to run into a convenience store for a minute is ok, but depending on the weather, you better be quick about it. Also, if your child accidentally gets locked in the car, call the nearest police department. They will come, free of charge, and unlock the door for you.

Anyway, on a more humorous note:

Report: Woman being released pokes cop in eye - So close, yet so far

Lady Lake police: Couple steals steaks, speeds off in dirty golf cart - I have heard of lots of different getaway vehicles, but this is the first time I've ever heard of a dirty golf cart being used.

Only in Florida 7/15/2013

     Robert Vernon learned the hard way that one likes a braggart, especially a braggart who doesn't like to share. Vernon, a homeless man that goes by the street name of "Dingo", made two discoveries that wound up costing him his freedom. The first was that he could enter the Daytona Cubs ball park when it was closed by sliding through a spot between a gate and a wall. The second discovery was that even though the park might be shut down, not all of the beer taps were.

     Vernon was able to make three beer runs before he was caught, but know one knows exactly how much beer he got away with. On his earlier runs, he made the mistake of not sharing his bounty with the other homeless in the area. Angry that Vernon wouldn't share, some of the other homeless people in the area reported him to policewoman Sarah Martin to get back at him. Vernon managed to elude officer Martin until one of the parks employees spotted him early one Sunday morning.

     Alerted to his presence by the employees, Martin followed Vernon to a local park where she found him sitting at a table under a pavilion with the jug of beer beside him. “The day I arrested him he was sitting by the river drinking beer from a milk jug,” Martin said. While he may have not been smart enough not steal the beer, Vernon was at least smart enough to know when he was caught. “He confessed to me,” Martin said. “He said he had been there three times.” When asked what brand he was drinking, Vernon replied, “Whichever tap I could find open and on.”

     Vernon was unable to enjoy the last of his ill gotten gains, as officer Martin seized the jug of beer as evidence and arrested him. Vernon was charged with unarmed burglary and petty theft.


Other news in brief:

Ferna Quesner accused of cutting her mother's eyes out, Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office says - .... ok, this one is just messed up. Not sure you can get much more WTF than this.

Deputies: Couple charged after toddler left home alone - Sometimes, you just need to make a Wal-Mart run. Besides, that motorcycle didn't have a car seat. (facepalm)

Deputies Arrest 'Joker,' Accuse Him of Vandalizing Patrol Car, Another Residence - No mention of the arresting officer's last name, but I really hope it was Wayne.

Shocking Behavior

Cops: Mom shocked child with stun gun for oatmeal-making mistake

Melissa Heale was arrested on aggravated child abuse charges after witnesses say she shocked a child with a stun gun. (OCJ, OCJ / June 14, 2013)

By Desiree Stennett, Orlando Sentinel

8:01 p.m. EDT, June 14, 2013

An Orange County woman was arrested Thursday on aggravated child abuse charges after witnesses say she shocked her child with a stun gun for making oatmeal incorrectly on Sunday.

Melissa Heale, who works for the Orlando Health and Rehab Center, denied that she purposely shocked the child, an arrest affidavit said.

The 34-year-old mother told investigators that "everyone was just playing around with the taser and when she touched (the child) with it, it was not activated," the report said.

The child, whose name, age and gender were redacted from the report released Friday, and witnesses who talked to deputies had a different, more violent account of the incident as well as stories of ongoing instances of abuse — despite a lack of previous arrests...

Read the rest here.